Saturday, November 14, 2015

Just Venting

On Thursday I posted a photo on my Instagram (@therealmrsbeal) and shared some concerns I have with bringing in baby number two. Obviously, Addison is my first born and to me, my first love. I've spent 4 years with her, 24/7 pretty much. Until she recently started preschool and I still miss her those two whole hours she is gone. For those two hours, I don't get to hear her little sweet voice tell me " I luvh you" I love to hear her tell me that at least once every hour, every day!

One of Spencer's and I main concern was that, how can we possibly love another tiny person more than we do Addi? Our love for Addi amazes me. I never thought I could love someone so deeply like that. I mean it's a different kind of love. I don't know how we ever lived without her before. Our life's are so much better and complete with her. I know some people at this point are wondering "why in the heck are we adding another child into the mix then?" Well because it all goes back to her. One main reason was because we didn't want to have regret or have her grow up and ask why she doesn't have a sibling like her friends in school. I've mentioned before that I only have one older brother and I always wanted a sister I could share with. I never asked my parents why they didn't try for another kid, but I would wonder myself. Spencer has two kids from a previous relationship, but I couldn't count on them to grow up with Addison and be around her all the time. I don't want her to be or feel "alone" while growing up. I want her to have a sibling of her own. That can share more than just blood. One of my worst fears was a worst case scenario. What if something unfortunate happened to Spencer and I. I know we would have family step in and care for Addison.  But also knowing she will have a sibling to grow with by her side made us feel a little better about things. 

Another worry of mine was how am I going to juggle a toddler and a baby at the same time? Not to mention it's been four years since I've had a newborn and to be completely honest, I have no idea where to start, ha ha!! I'm literally staring all over again. So I'm worried on how I will handle these newborn challenges and not have Addi recent me or her sister. I don't want her to feel left out or worse, not loved! A friend of mine told me that her oldest didn't want to have anything to do with her and almost hated her mom when the new baby came. That broke my heart to think of Addi not wanting anything to do with me or the baby. I don't want her to feel as if I don't have time for her ( the laundry will definitely have to wait) ;) I had some of you comment on my IG photo with some tips, which I appreciate so much! I hear a lot of "you will figure it out", "don't worry, you will do great" , and "it will come naturally" I am trying to not stress and just keep it positive. It also helps knowing that I have family close by that can always help. I know Spencer can always leave work at any minute! Which is relieving. 

So thank you for your kind words. If you have any more tips on bringing home baby number two and what to expect please leave me a comment or email me! Also come connect with us on social media Facebook and Instagram!

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